I knew that I needed a change of pace and to be in a new environment that appreciated my valor as a human being. I believe that to become your best self in these days in times you must honor your worth. Transition is not easy. It comes as a surprise at night when you do not see it coming. It arrives early in the morning and then you must deal with what is in front of you as the sun rises.
How do you go on when you feel like you were doing everything right.
I thought about this while attending the American Library Association’s annual conference in Chicago this past week. The smallest inkling in life will make your emotions draw up and force you to let them out in order to breathe. I started to cry. Where I am now with the tears that I experienced a few days ago, I needed to cry. It was time for it to all come out. This was probably the hardest conference for me, because things are different in my life. I am out of my comfort zone, but then I think about when have I ever really had a comfort zone. What are my non-negotiables at this juncture in my life? What am I willing to deal with as a Black woman, a professional, a lover of life, and as human being? This is something that I will be dealing with the entire summer, because I want to be the best at what I do in my profession.
There are so many things that I can say about librarianship that is wrong. However, where it stands today in all that I am trying to figure out is that I have to be honest with me and recognize what umbrella I am now under. Complaining is not going to get us anywhere but knowing the facts will. African Americans makeup 5% of the profession. More importantly, after that it really does not matter in the grand scheme of things as far as the makeup of other cultures regarding percentages. There are so many discussions about diversity and inclusion going on, but does this profession really believe that having two people in a room with brown skin and the rest white that there is a worthy conversation going on? I aim to continue to be a voice for the voiceless. It is not easy. It will never be easy. Do I fit in this microcosm – I wasn’t built to fit in. I was made to stand out and to take charge. I feel that my ancestors in this profession went through so much to make sure that I had a seat at the table. The question today is how many chairs at the table are actually open to Blackness, and does it require me to fold because the status quo is to be quiet and watch things happen to you or against you?
Be open to hope and never afraid of transition.
As I contemplate about my future and where I am going in this space of transition, I know that it is all for the better. Sometimes, we need a break to sit and think for a while. I welcome transition and the opportunity to look back and forward. That is the concept and premise of Sankofa – “go back to the past and bring forward what is useful.” Giving myself a break this summer to reflect and move forth in my pursuit of excellence is the best recourse for growth as a professional. I have been given the time to do this and I am so daringly this summer.
#Savvy|Smart|Sexy People Do transition.
Blackness Personified 